Hello Beautiful Human,

I finally found a routine for work and productivity that I was happy with and followed as religiously as possible. 

However, this past week, I felt lost. I kept sensing a yearning to be still, to center myself, and to feel my emotions—the ones I had glossed over, deflected from, and suppressed, the ones I hadn’t allowed myself to fully acknowledge.

At first, I didn’t realize I needed to process unresolved emotions. Instead, it felt like I was being lazy or lethargic. But instead of weaponizing those feelings against myself, I asked, “Why am I feeling this way? What are my body and emotions trying to tell me?”

That reflection allowed me to begin processing emotions I had been carrying for a while but hadn’t been able to articulate until now.

 I realized that the immense tank of emotional safety I’ve felt for years with a dear friend has been steadily declining over the past few months—and even faster than my mind can fully process. The most unsettling part is that the space left by this decline isn’t empty. It’s like a bowl of spring water with a tap beneath and an open space above, where it can be refilled with spring water (representing good emotions) or other substances (representing bad emotions).

Right now, it’s not being refilled with good emotions. Instead, it’s being filled with anxiousness—anxiousness about what has become of our friendship, the flaws that have surfaced, the reluctance to address uncomfortable truths, and the habit of glossing over or avoiding issues that need attention.

I realized how these dynamics unfold: where there isn’t emotional safety in a connection—be it friendship, intimacy, or family—something else inevitably takes its place. It’s either avoidance, anxiety, or numbness because humans, who are constantly in communication, cannot exist in a void.

 

This is why relationships—especially romantic ones that have endured prolonged suffering and toxicity—often end in emptiness. It becomes, “I don’t hate you, but I don’t love you either. I feel nothing. I don’t want anything to do with you because my mind is dysregulated from all the chaos we’ve become. To find peace, calm, and ease, I must empty the toxins and dysregulation in my mind and body.”

Sometimes Indifference can be a lifesaver, but we’ve been conditioned to believe that fighting for love means fighting for everything and everyone—except ourselves.

 

Your emotions are your internal guidance system, pointing to something your intellect may not yet fully grasp. 

Too often, we use intellect to gloss over these emotions, pushing them down into the depths of our being. But every slice of awareness that enters human consciousness will inevitably rise to the surface, especially unresolved emotions. This is why external triggers (good or bad) often bring forgotten or buried feelings to light—they surface as moments of remembrance.

Allow yourself the stillness to process your emotions. Untangle what they’re telling you, articulate them for yourself and others, and build the strength to have hard conversations that reinforce your boundaries—conversations that help you feel safe in both your mind and body. Those who truly love and value you will naturally care enough to respect your boundaries and contribute to your sense of safety.

In the same way, extend this understanding and care to others.

I wasn’t able to continue writing about beliefs, programming, and conditioning this week. But this I can write, and this is perfectly fine too.

 

To your Growth,

Temitope Saliu.